EMG

I'm having another EMG test this friday. This will be my 8th or 9th. I think EMG stands for Electrocution Motherf*cking Grandiose.

I'll work on a write-up of what this test entails. Spoiler alert! It falls between waterboarding and getting your finger stuck between the prongs of a plug in an outlet.

I should have known it was bad when, before my first EMG, I told my mom the brochure said I might experience some discomfort. She told me the child birth brochure the hospital gave her warned she "might experience some discomfort." Go find a woman who had a kid sans painkillers. Ask her what "some discomfort" feels like. (warning - not for the squeamish)

Tune in later this week and I shall regale you with tales of needles, tazers, more needles and puncture wounds. I may even share my patented post-EMG pain cure. (Spoiler alert! BOOZE!)