Friday, May 22, 2009


I was just watching this:

When it dawned on me;

I really miss snapping my fingers.


Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Rocker Knife is Back

You couldn't stay away from Rocker Knife. You knew it.

Thank your lucky stars your face hasn't melted yet.

And the track list:

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Behold the Foltis

Here it is, Swobo Otis components on a Folsom frame. Dubbed the "Foltis" by Gene and Brauer at One on One.

You may be asking yourself, "How much more black could that bike be?". The answer is none. None more black. It's like a pastel black - its easy on the eyes.

I'm really digging the 3 speed hub. I've only used first gear twice. It feels almost identical to the 34x18 on my Karate Monkey. Third gear is pretty close to the 43x16 on my Cross Check (maybe a 42x16 or 17) and second gear is right in the middle.

Swobo was kind enough to stamp the bike's serial number on the head badge for easy viewing. It was there I learned my frame was assembled by Satan.

Yes, it ends in 666. The Foltis is destined to rock your ass straight to hell and back.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Possibly the coolest, and easily the most Metal utensil ever

Right. Long story short, my diagnosis of Monomelic Amyotrophy has been changed to Probable ALS. That means my symptoms don't match MMA anymore, but they don't yet match ALS. The good news is that the fine folks at the Minnesota ALS Association are here to help. They provided me with a sweet shirt button hook buttoner thingy, some rocking jar-opening sticky stuff, and this:

That bad mo-fo is called a "rocker knife". Honestly. These should be in every store. See it demolishing that New York strip? I just lay my hand on the object to be cut, rock my hand back and forth, and cut the holy hell out of that thing. I can't believe these aren't available to the general population at Target!

I thought "Rocker Knife" sounded like a good title to an album for a metal band. So, here it is:
(click for larger view)

And...I'd be remiss if I didn't make a tracklist for such a heavy CD.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

well that worked out

Yesterday I called up One on One and asked if they had a 20" Swobo Otis in stock. They did not. They did, however, have a 16.5" bike and a 20 inch frame in stock & said it would take a day to swap over the parts.

Game on.

Turns out it wasn't a 20" Otis frame they had. It was a Folsom. The most overbuilt, badass, jet black frame I've ever seen. I now have what amounts to a three speed, coaster brake equipped, gigantic bmx bike.

I sit upright enough to not fatigue my arms, and I now have a rear brake I can actually use. There's also a front disc brake I plan on using to facilitate rad endos. There's even a built-in bottle opener under the seat. Bitchin'.

Oh, my first trip on thing was a ride over to 48th and Chicago for a beer. Pictures coming soon.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

brake update

Turns out that coaster brake hub was spaced for 120mm dropouts with a 150mm axel. My Surlys are 135mm. That's pretty funny if you understand dropout spacing. If you don't, here's a joke.

Two guys walk in to a bar. The third one ducked.

I am the alpha and the omega of comedy. All SRAM coaster brake hubs in the US are sold out through summer, so I'm eying one of these fellas. Next week is bike to work week!