Tuesday, August 26, 2008

criminal triathlete

From the Star Tribune. I swear this wasn't me.

Criminal 'triathlete' flees Minneapolis police

Authorities say a would-be thief led Minneapolis police on a chase through water and on land.

Police say the man was caught trying to steal items from inside a car last Thursday in the 25-hundred block of Hennepin Avenue. The owner of the car saw the man inside her vehicle and called police. Authorities say the man took off on a bicycle.

Police later spotted the suspect on Girard Avenue, at the south side of Lake of the Isles. Authorities say the suspect ran, and then jumped into Lake Calhoun. He swam to a nearby sailboat that was docked in the lake.

Police negotiated with the man to swim back to shore. When he eventually agreed, police arrested him and took the man into custody.

He's being held on suspicion of fleeing police and motor vehicle tampering.

Monday, August 18, 2008

first place, Women 30-34?

I won the women's 30-34 age group at the Lake Marion Tri yesterday. That's right. Women 30-34.

When I picked up my packet they had me listed as a man. Apparently the timing guys thought I looked a little femmey on race morning. Not sure how that mix-up occured, but they had me categorized as a chick.

I should have worn my wetsuit despite the 80 degree water temp. I swam a 21:18 750 meters, or 2:36/100yd pace. I've never swam that slow in my life! There was a headwind for part of the course, but I can't believe it slowed me down that much.

The bike was surprisingly hilly & windy. I averaged 21mph for 20K - pretty slow. The run was non stop rolling hills. Easily the toughest 5K I've run. I turned in a cruddy 20:30 or 6:36 pace. Granted, I did a tempo run on Saturday & this race was just a tune up for Chicago next weekend, but a 20:30? Ouch.

The pressure is off for Chicago. Aaron Scheities (blind guy & PC Tri world record holder) will be competing. It's a given that he'll stomp the tar out of the rest of us even if he has a bad day. He's the only PC triathlete to ever break 2 hours.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

G'day! I mean b-day

My sister emailed me a birthday limerick. It's way too rad to not share.

I once knew an athletic man,
Who developed an ingenious plan:
Stay physically fit
And "oldness" won't hit!
But then he turned thirty, so it turned out he was wrong, because even though he was still in good shape, he was SOOOO OLD!!!!!

The literati greats have nothing on Anna. Take that, Proust!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

I'm growing a hipster beard. Please sandblast my face.

I forgot to bring a razor to work this morning. As such, I'm now sporting a scruffy look. My little "soul patch" below my lower lip appears to grow faster than the rest of my beard.

I look like a hipster. Lord help me.

I already ride a single speed bike, which is very hipster-ish. At least it's not a fixie. Those are uber-hipsterish. Now I'm working on a soul patch 'I'm too cool to shave' look.

All I need are some tight pants, black socks & a white belt to complete the look. And maybe some PBR. The hipster beverage of choice. Hipsters, if you're reading this, High Life is a tastier cheap beer. Consider switching.

If you see me biking home today, please tackle & shave me. I'll leave my sidburns' length to your discretion. I think they're short enough to still be cool.

See? I said 'cool' instead of 'deck'. A true hipster would have said 'deck'. I don't know how deck became the new cool. I've been too busy shaving & not wearing vintage Chuck Taylors to keep up with the modern lexicon.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

more press

I'm telling you, 2008 is the year for people with disabilities! I mentioned the BBC TV show & US commercials in an earlier post. There's also the upcoming film Quid Pro Quo and Sarah Reinertsen just got some more press on the cover of Twin Cities Sports. That woman is unstoppable! I need her PR machine.

I'm also doing my part to spread the word that gimpy athletes are out there & prepared to demolish your healthy ass in any athletic endeavor. I was interviewed last month for Mid West Events magazine & this week I'm featured on my alma mater's News page. (thanks, Julie!)

It's a far cry from magazine covers or national TV spots, but they say any publicity is good publicity.

Spread the word. Triathletes armed with three or fewer working limbs are coming for you. We can not be stopped. We can not be slowed down. The podium is our goal. We may or may not devour your soul in the process.

Monday, August 4, 2008


Two weeks ago, Nick Huber died. For those who didn't know him, he was a fellow Luther Communications major who graduated 2 years after me.

To my knowledge, we never met. Luther was a pretty small school, so odds are we bumped in to each other at least once. We did email back & forth a bit - mostly about the similarities in our disabilities and international soccer matches.

For two weeks I've been trying to think of something to write about him. I think there's a temptation to eulogize someone when they're gone, even if you didn't know them well. I didn't want to do that.

So, I'll just say that Nick was a funny guy & I loved his politics. He was passionate about supporting ALS research, so throw a buck or two their way if you can spare it.

The link on the right, "Nick - fighting ALS like a mo-fo" is staying up to spread the word.

Friday, August 1, 2008


The Friday morning 15.5-16 mile run is in the bag. 2:06 total running time. I'm tired. Like, beyond the help of coffee tired. I should have stopped on the way to work to procure some amphetamines... or a red bull.

My sleepiness isn't being helped by my musical choice. I've been listening to Elliott Smith for the last 45 minutes. Here's a pretty tune for your enjoyment.