Sunday, February 14, 2010

I'm no genius, but sometimes I get it right.

The good folks at the ALS Association, recently sent me a foam cover for utensils. It is supposed to make things like forks or spoons easier to grasp. Unfortunately, it was a little too large for me to use.

This morning, I had a great idea. What about camping utensils? There are ridiculously light versions out there for all the weight weenies who don't want their forks to weigh more than 10 grams. Full disclosure; there was a time when I did a lot of backpacking, and I was dangerously close to being a weight weenie myself.

Anyhoo, I swung by REI and picked up a fancy titanium spoon. It has a nice flat handle that is easy to grab, and it tips the scales at a svelte 9 grams. No more muscle fatigue while eating soup!

They were sold out of the titanium fork, and spork, so I might have to order those online. The idea of a titanium spork is impossibly cool, so I may have to shop around town for one. I mean, we all know the spork is the most awesome utensil ever, and one made out of titanium is doubly cool.

Gimpy brethren, heed my call! Go forth and buy titanium sporks!

P.S. My dictate software initially translated "Gimpy brethren, heed my call" as "Kinky brother in key might call."

I didn't even know I had a kinky brother in the Florida Keys.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Fancy new technology

I have some spiffy new software called Mac Dictate. It translates the words I say into a microphone into text on the screen. In fact, I'm just saying the words to this post I'm not typing them. This might be phase 1 in computers taking over and ruling the world, but I don't care, because it's freaking awesome.

it doesn't recognize everything I say just yet. It keeps thinking my wife's name is Monday or money & not Marney. of course the first thing I teach it will be how to recognize swear words. Let's take it for a test drive...

Mother Fokker

okay, I stand corrected, there is only one swear word it didn't recognize. it knew six out of seven words of George Carlin's seven words you can't say on television. I must reiterate, this software is freaking awesome.

I kind of feel like Capt. Kirk talking to the enterprise. "Computer. Plot a course to Alpha Centauri." on second thought I feel more like Capt. Jean-Luc Picard. Picard was a pimp. he rocked that bald head better than anyone in the universe. Incidentally, Dictate abbreviated captain and hyphenated Jean-Luc all on its own. Groove on that.

Now that I don't need to type with just two fingers, I'll be able to blog more with less frustration. Sweet! I wonder if it would understand me if I were totally wasted. Computer, pass the Jamison.

Hooray for technology!

i'm back

sorry about the lapse in blogging. as you can see in the photo below, i've been a fish for the last few weeks.

i eventually wound up at a market in Nantes... with a knife in my head.

don't worry, i got better.