Friday, September 23, 2011

break

i'll be blogging over here for a bit, keeping people up to date on my sister-in-laws brain tumor surgery. Writing brain tumor jokes instead of ALS jokes is a nice change of pace. Weird, eh?

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

I watched The Empire Strikes Back last night for the billionth time. I noticed something new during this viewing... actually, I noticed two things.

First, Leia on Hoth is arguably hotter than Slave Leia in Jedi. Granted, I live in Minnesota so my perspective on such matters might be skewed. Most guys don't find wool scarves & mittens sexy — I am not most guys. I'd love to get her alone in the South passage, if you know what I mean.1 I'm just saying that I'll take ski bunny Leia over steel bikini Leia any day.

She can fire my ion cannon any time.2


The second thing I noticed is R2D2 goes every place people go (except inside Yoda's house) under his own power. He follows people around on multiple planets and space ships. He travels by rolling. Which means...

THE ENTIRE STAR WARS UNIVERSE IS WHEELCHAIR ACCESSIBLE!!!

Both the rebels and the Empire put ramps and elevators in every damn thing they built. Even the Death Star is easy for R2 to navigate. We never hear C3PO ask Han, "Excuse me, Captain Solo, would help me carry R2 down these stairs?" Han Solo doesn't have time to carry R2 anywhere! He'd probably shoot C3PO just for asking — which would have made the whole trilogy more watchable.

Oddly enough, we don't see anyone zipping around the background in a quasi-futuristic wheelchair. I suppose they have medical regenerative technology that makes wheelchairs obsolete. It worked for Vader...


1. If you know what I mean, you are a geek. And I'm a scruffy looking nerf herder.
2. Get your mind out of the gutter.