catastrophy!

Over the last year & a half I've gotten used to not being able to do lots of stuff. Last night I got hit with a bombshell.

I couldn't scoop out an avocado to make guacamole!!

I'll give you a moment to compose yourself...

Now then, my recipe called for 2 avocados. I scooped one and a half successfully. By the last half, my left arm was too tired to finish the job. Fortunately, Marney (my wife) came to my rescue. She also bailed me out on a ziploc bag-closing emergency. Thanks, sweetie.

I'm putting an open call out to all inventors and crackpots. I need an avocado-scooper-outer machine. A world without fresh guac is not a world I am prepared to live in. This a goddam emergency people!

Drop what you're doing, call in sick, cash in your 401K if you have to. Let's get this scooper-outer built! I'm not letting my guac-making ability fall by the wayside. Not on my watch.