Tuesday, December 8, 2009

what did I tell you?

In my last post, I postulated that the best way to get famous fast (and then raise money for rare motor neuron disease research) was to release a sex tape.

However, I forgot about twist on the tape - a good old-fashioned affair. Tiger Woods has been in the news non stop for nearly two weeks since it was revealed he was stepping out on his wife.

Rather than going through the effort of forging a sex tape, I'm going to take the Tiger route. Here's a list of people I've had affairs with;*

• Lindsay Lohan
• Kate Gosselin
• Kim Deal
• The flute chick from American Pie
• Neil Patrick Harris
• Taylor Swift
• Anne Hathaway's second cousin Jenny
• That girl who works at the Quizznos near work
• Melissa Stark

I'd like to apologize to my family, blah, blah, blah, I was weak, yadda yadda yadda... and that's it.

Once the media picks up on this post I'll be known as the latest Hollywood lothario. Then I'll go on Larry King and tell the world that, in addition to being a total man-whore, I want to raise the public's awareness of rare, crippling motor neuron diseases. Donations will start flooding in and maybe I'll help some people out.

This plan is just genius.

* Not really

1 comment:

jidana said...

NPH is hot. He almost makes up for your Lohan-Gosselin lapses in judgment.