it's about time i put some original art on this mo-fo

Many moons ago, when I launched my website, I suggested that anyone else with Monomelic Amyotrophy contact me so we could start a metal band called "Bring Out the Gimp". Several dudes with MMA have contacted me & referenced my theoretical band in their email, which is awesome. Incidentally, if we ever do start an MMA band called Bring Out the Gimp, do not come see us. Seriously, you will not survive our live show. We will rock that hard. There will be a five kilometer safe zone around us. We will melt the devil's face. Satan sold his soul to our band to keep us from turning our amps up past "8". I might ask my brother-in-law join us on stage. He's the 6' 6" singer of Mantys and sounds like this.

Seriously, don't come to our show.

Anyhoo, I haven't designed suitably 'core album cover art for our band yet. Although, I figured once our gimpy band starts rocking, other gimpy bands are sure to follow. As such, I spent my evening (my Friday evening, because that's how much I love other MMA-havers out there) designing logos for pro-neuron disease bands who want to rock. Rip these off as needed. Contact me if you need a high-res version for your MMA band.

Amy O'Trophy - traditional Irish folk music

Atrophy - probably some hipsters re-hashing the Strokes

Amy-O - bad ass female rapper. She'll cut a bitch.

Neuron Disease - Heavy duty Russian punk band. They're connected. I'm just sayin'.

the monomelics - Here's a logo for a sad-sack emo band. Mopey bastards.

with one hand...

You know the expression, "I can do that with one hand behind my back"? That has lost all meaning for me. Pretty much everything I do, I could do with one hand behind my back. That's the beauty in having a useless left hand.

Now that presents a dilemma; do I stop using that expression, or do I run it in to the ground?

"Build a website in a day? I could do that with one hand tied behind my back".

"Cook dinner for a dozen people? I could do that with one hand tied behind my back"

"Blog about a rare motor neuron disease? I could do that with one hand tied behind my back."

Yeah, I'll stop using that expression. I'm already sick of it.

Googling MMA

There's a problem with Monomelic Amyotrophy's abbreviation, MMA. It just dawned on me the other day that, in the parlance of our time, MMA is the standard abbreviation for Mixed Martial Arts fighting. That's the thing where dudes in a chain-link octagon beat the hell out of each other for no apparent reason. From what I can tell, there aren't any rules. Good family fun.

This abbreviation clash sucks, because if you Google "MMA" all you get is dudes doling out beatings. Monomelic Amyotrophy was first identified in the 1960s. Mixed Martial Arts is relatively new. Seems fair that the disease should keep the MMA abbreviation & the blood sport should get a new one.

Here are some suggestions for re-naming Mixed Martial Arts.

HEAT - Homo Erotic Action Throwdown
SLAM - Super Lame Arrogant Machismo
RUDE - Really Unnecessary Dangerous Exercise
PUNCH - Punch Up Nuts, Chin, Head

I could go on...