Wednesday, December 31, 2008

there's hope for the future

Kids are hilarious.

Last weekend, my little 7 year old cousin-in-law & I did a little post-xmas rocking out on my drum set. I kept time on the high hat while she wailed on the toms & occasionally gave the ride a workout.

After a couple of "songs" (each of which ended when she hit the crash cymbal) she said, "Let's play another one!" She then proceeded to raise her little arms above her head, band her drum sticks together four times, and count off "One, two, three four!" before tearing in to another song.

She never saw me do that, she just did it on her own. Maybe she's in to Loverboy or something.

I wish I was that cool when I was seven.

Friday, December 12, 2008

it's about time i put some original art on this mo-fo

Many moons ago, when I launched my website, I suggested that anyone else with Monomelic Amyotrophy contact me so we could start a metal band called "Bring Out the Gimp". Several dudes with MMA have contacted me & referenced my theoretical band in their email, which is awesome. Incidentally, if we ever do start an MMA band called Bring Out the Gimp, do not come see us. Seriously, you will not survive our live show. We will rock that hard. There will be a five kilometer safe zone around us. We will melt the devil's face. Satan sold his soul to our band to keep us from turning our amps up past "8". I might ask my brother-in-law join us on stage. He's the 6' 6" singer of Mantys and sounds like this.

Seriously, don't come to our show.

Anyhoo, I haven't designed suitably 'core album cover art for our band yet. Although, I figured once our gimpy band starts rocking, other gimpy bands are sure to follow. As such, I spent my evening (my Friday evening, because that's how much I love other MMA-havers out there) designing logos for pro-neuron disease bands who want to rock. Rip these off as needed. Contact me if you need a high-res version for your MMA band.

Amy O'Trophy - traditional Irish folk music

Atrophy - probably some hipsters re-hashing the Strokes

Amy-O - bad ass female rapper. She'll cut a bitch.

Neuron Disease - Heavy duty Russian punk band. They're connected. I'm just sayin'.

the monomelics - Here's a logo for a sad-sack emo band. Mopey bastards.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

out of context

Contextual advertising is pretty neat. It's the technology that displays online ads that are relevant to your interests. If you read a news article on digital cameras, odds are you'll see some camera ads in the page's ad space.

Facebook does contextual ads too. I usually see ads for triathlon equipment or bands I'm interested in (since that info is in my profile).

Lately, I'm seeing this ad a lot:

What. The. Hell?

First, how did Facebook guess I'm tired of waxing? I don't even mention ski wax in my profile! Second, the guy in the ad is clearly shaving his chest. Shouldn't the ad ask if I'm tired of shaving? Maybe the art department thought this photo was easier to comprehend. I've never seen a photo of a man waxing his own chest. If I did, I imagine my reaction would be, "What's all this then?"

I finally got around to reading the ad copy, where I learned the shaving man who is tired of waxing wants me to win 5 large in laser hair removal. I think lasers are pretty awesome and all, but I really don't need one scorching my torso. Did you notice that blondie is covering his nipple with his thumb while shaving? He's concerned, and he's only armed with a Gillette Mach 3. What precautions does one take with laser hair removal? I bet there's a number 5 welding shield and a lead apron involved.

To sum up; Facebook's contextual ads presented me with a trifecta of chest hair removal options because I'm a web designing triathlete from Minneapolis who likes Weezer & the Stones.

Makes perfect sense.

Friday, December 5, 2008


For the love of god, someone give these gentlemen a medal.

packin heat

I'm not sure how to feel about this thing. Behold the Palm Pistol:
It's a single shot 9mm pistol designed for the elderly & disabled. According to the Constitution Arms website, "It is ideal for seniors, disabled or others who may have dexterity limitations or difficulty sighting and controlling a traditional revolver or semi-automatic pistol."

Wow, I'm their target market! I wonder if it comes with a cool holster. For $300, it better! The Palm Pistol may be easy to use, but it totally lacks the style of a Derringer.