I saw one of my doctors last week. My calf muscles are tight and twitchy most of the time, and it makes sleeping difficult. I ended up with a prescription for Baclofen, but first I messed with my doctor's head a bit. My shenanigans started as soon as she walked in.
doctor: "So, what can I do for you?"
me: "I'd like some drugs please."
doctor: "Okay, what did you have in mind?"
me: "Well, I'm really in to Pink Floyd right now. I'd like something to help enhance their music."
doctor: *puzzled expression*
me: "Like maybe some LSD or MDMA."
doctor: "I can't prescribe those, but I can give you directions to a street corner downtown where you probably could get them."
me: "Far out."
doctor: "Too bad medical marijuana is illegal in Minnesota."
me: "Marijuana is medicinal?"
doctor: "You are trouble."
She went on to tell me that several spinal injury patients of hers have successfully 'self medicated' with weed at home. For some people, weed works better than Baclofen, Botox or any other anti-spasticity drug on the market. And unlike some prescription pills, marijuana has few side effects. The main one being: it makes everything way more awesome. Literally everything.
Of course, there's that whole "against the law" issue with pot — also I can't use a lighter or matches. So I guess I'm out of luck, unless someone brings 'medicine' to me. (hint hint) But that won't happen because my friends are law-abiding citizens. (wink wink) Remember kids, just say no, (say yes) and users are losers. (losers with great taste in music) I'll continue taking my prescribed medication (lame) and listening to Led Zeppelin IV. (hint hint)
I also won't (will) try to enhance rocking tunes like this Minneapolis duo:
...or the classics...
...or these Canadian fellas:
Their bass player looks like a young Jack Bruce and sounds like a young John Entwistle - nothing wrong with that.
