test drive

Last night I visited Reliable Medical to test drive a few wheelchairs. I'm 99% sure I'm going to go with the Quantum Q6 Edge, which sounds more like a car from Infinity than a chair.

If the manufacturer's web site is correct, driving a Quantum chair f*cking rocks! Visit their home page & click the "Q6 Feel the Power" link. You'll see a guy tearing through gravel and zipping along uneven pavement while a Steve Vai-esque soundtrack blares.

ROCK!!!

power wheels

I recently started the power wheelchair selection process. Today I was measured for a chair (they are custom built) and I got to test drive one.

There are several different control configurations to choose from. There are some that perform better than others on grass or gravel. It's important to choose the model that best fits your needs.

With that in mind, I came up with some questions to ask to make sure you get the chair that's right for you.

• Are the foot rests adjustable?
  
• Can the seat height be raised?
  
• Where's the cup holder?
  
• Where's the flux capacitor?
  
• How often should I change the oil?
  
• Is there a bottle opener on this thing?
  
• Does this model have a manual or automatic transmission?
  
• Does it come with a wheelie bar, or is that optional?
  
• Can I get it with all-wheel drive and a roll cage?
  
• Hypothetically speaking, if I strapped water skis to the chair — would a 125hp outboard have enough power to pull me?
  
• On a scale of one to ten, how bulletproof is the chair?
  
• Would I void the warranty if I took the chair to a pool & drove it off the high dive? What about the low dive?
  
• If the battery dies, will the motor run on whiskey? Follow up question; does piloting this chair while intoxicated meet the legal definition of 'drunk driving' in the state of Minnesota?
  
• Is there an ap that would allow me to control the chair from my iPhone?
  
• Does the battery pack enough voltage to jump start a car? How about a human heart?
  
• Could the chair out maneuver a police car... in theory, of course.
  
• Would dressing up as Stephen Hawking for Halloween be too obvious?
  
• How do I join the National Wheelchair Drag Racing Association? Also, is there a National Wheelchair Drag Racing Association?
  
• Do you know of any good wheelchair urban legends I could suggest to The Mythbusters?
  
• Can the seat back recline?
  

last call

Orders for the ALS Assassination Squad t-shirts keep coming in, so we are doing another print run. You have until Friday December 3rd to get your order in. Size info is on my website, email me your sizes/quantities.